So much for the "Neverending Story" never ending.

It was completely false advertising and a refund should be provided for those who were disappointed with the DVD. Children everywhere are still waiting for the story to end and it's just not fair on them. Think of the children! On the bright side though, there was a talking dragon and a seemingly evil void of darkness called "The Nothing" that consumes absolutely everything. But the film was creepy and so were the characters - enough said.

Of Course I Flinched! You Almost Punched Me In The Face!!!

How annoying is it when someone pretends to swing for you just to test your reaction, as if the best thing to do would be to stand there and get poked in the eye. If anything, a spider man reaction is something to be proud of, because they couldn't hit you if they tried! More to the point, this intimidation technique is just a sign of weakness - a weakness that's begging to be taught a lesson.

Procrastinators UNITE... ... tomorrow

I'll write more about this tomorrow...

Saving a file as "dyjjyggffj'', because I'm too lazy to write a proper name

Sometimes time just seems too short to worry about saving files with the correct names, correct spellings, in the right places or in chronological order. You're also pretty much guaranteed that no other file on your computer will be called "jhsdfjsf" which will save complications in the long run. You see, life is often much easier with shortcuts. Like saving a shortcut on your desktop and calling it "kjhjufhju".

Getting Paranoid When I Notice Patterns On Multiple Choice Tests

I swear this test has alterior motives! Maybe they're trying to catch us out. Why do all of these answers have the same letter apart from the last one?! And what's so significant about the last one? I must have got it wrong. Unless some of the others are wrong which would explain the strange 'co-incidental' pattern. But what's this - section 2 makes a smiley face. That can't be right!

New Moon: The story of a girls choice between Beastiality and Necrophilia.

Hmmm which will it be - a blood sucking poser who always makes it seem like there's a cold draft in the room, or a guy with a crack that's hairier than his back? Either way, they're both dangerously selfish and seem to think that Bella's a lot safer in their company, thus proving their inferior brain capacities. Why can't they just all get along and show more of a proactive interest in the democratic workings of society.

I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he doesn't let you touch anything.

MC Hammer's 'can't touch this' attitude has touched the lives of many. Selling over 50 million records worldwide, the man has been a great success and it's all thanks to his power yielding 'hammer pants'. This sell out rapper is also considered a forefather of pop rap, and went from rags to riches because of his energetic personality.

When Ash from Pokemon turns his hat around, you know sh*ts about to go down

This is one guy you certainly do not want to mess with. I mean c'mon, he's got a Pikachu. From across the road you'd hear them shout "Stand back! he's got a Pokeball!" And then the theme tune starts randomly playing from somewhere in the background. If Ash was out on our streets, he'd soon be the most feared character in society. He would solve any case before the police had time to show up and when they did, he'd give them an autograph.

COD, Keeping teenage pregnancy down since 2003.

Today, many of us contribute to a nation of zombies who love nothing more than to veg' out in front of a games console. But with a closer look there is much more to it. While computer games help people to develope hand eye co-ordination, Call Of Duty goes the extra mile to deliver a more muscle toning brain workout, unlike sex which could be described as a mindless repetative task. The game tests the limits of our logic and strategy while making our hearts race just like during...

Liking your own status is like high-fiving yourself.

Who da man? You da man - high five! If there's nobody around to see how cool you are, you always have the option of high fiving yourself. To like your own Facebook status is to do just that. There are many reasons to do so, such as making yourself look popular, showing yourself someone cares or letting people know how confident you are by openly showing them how much you love yourself. How great am I?!

Watching the bouncing DVD logo and waiting for it to hit a corner

Watching the DVD logo float around the screen can dangerously allure many people into a distant haze while they patiently sit, hoping that the time will come. If I'd invented this simple default screensaver I'd have put Google adds on it. One noticeable thing about the DVD logo is that it never truly repeats it's movements as it bounces slightly different every time round. It truly is as free as a bird!

Realizing you borrowed the pen you're sticking in your mouth

It's one of those moments when you pause and your eyes give that shocked expression. As you slowly take the pen away from your mouth, you might notice the teeth marks that were definitely not your own, and sourly lick the tips of your lips. Lesson learned. Get your own pen! You might even be happier keeping one on you at all times to avoid these grossly terrifying encounters.

I Have Always Wanted to Get in a Cab and Say."FOLLOW THAT CAR!!"

It's one of the greatest life ambitions that anyone could ever have. Screeching tires and some chase music on the car CD player would greatly enhance such an experience. Role play is a wonderful game and as we get older, there comes a different league of "make believe". So what better way to spice things up than to do as we see on TV. Life would sure be more exciting with the addition of a few good action scenes.

Dear Mr. Monopoly and Mr. Pringles, you have such epic moustaches.

What better status symbol is there than a totally epic moustache? Here we have two of the most loved moustaches on the planet. They are so fantastic that it's very easy to imagine how insignificant the monopoly guy and pringles dude would be without them. But as they currently are, these two characters display their raw power with a 'mighty boosh' of facial hair. It's almost as if they're hiding something behind them, or compensating for the relative bareness above their heads.

Errr Excuse me? I bought a packet of CRISPS, not half a bag of air.

A company like Walkers surely doesn't need to make funding cuts any time soon. So why do they insist on selling thin air to people?! Perhaps it's an initiative to combat obesity, for those who don't take the initiative to buy a second packet of air, I mean crisps. It's rather like the packaging you get for childrens toys, that makes the product look completely awesome on the shelf. However older people can see through this, just like air itself.

Making your font type bigger so it looks like you've written more

There are of course many ways of getting through school. Changing the size of your font can definitely fill in the blanks.

When. I. Read. Stuff. Like. This. The. Voice. In. My. Head. Takes. Pauses.

It is well understood that the mind is a wonderful thing. Our minds undergo neuro linguistic programming on a daily basis, and as we read, we often hear the words in our heads. It's only normal, so don't worry, YOU'RE NOT GOING CRAZY! Just remember to speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil and read no evil. Because. missuse. of. punctuation. can. be. rather. irritating. when. trying. to. read. fluently.

"Status was posted Today at 9:15pm"...ITS ONLY 11AM, How is that possible?

It seems that Facebook, the multi-billion dollar website, still hasn't fully came to terms with the importance of usability for it's users. I have often received messages from the future, while writing ones in the past. Perhaps the whole concept of time is being challenged by Facebook's stubborn ego and this futuristic website has opened a time vortex, displacing messages and making time travel a casually conversational subject in every household.

Hating the kids who circled wally in all the where's wally books

Wally always wins because as soon as we've found him he's hiding again. The challenge of chasing this goofy fella around is highly recommended. But prepare for disappointment as you pick that book up from the children's section in the library. When opening the front page to realize that someone much younger than you has ruined your entire day. You might experience negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, stress and hatred.

Seeing Japanese Tourists Taking Photos of the Most Pointless Things

This is a very familiar spectacle for many of us. Having such an enthusiastic interest being shown towards your local library or telephone box can surely be seen as a great sign of appreciation. Who else reminds us of how beautiful the place is other than the Japanese with their Fujifilm photography. Like anyone, they have the right to take pictures wherever they go, with their cameras that they probably designed and programmed themselves.