So much for the "Neverending Story" never ending.

It was completely false advertising and a refund should be provided for those who were disappointed with the DVD. Children everywhere are still waiting for the story to end and it's just not fair on them. Think of the children! On the bright side though, there was a talking dragon and a seemingly evil void of darkness called "The Nothing" that consumes absolutely everything. But the film was creepy and so were the characters - enough said.

Of Course I Flinched! You Almost Punched Me In The Face!!!

How annoying is it when someone pretends to swing for you just to test your reaction, as if the best thing to do would be to stand there and get poked in the eye. If anything, a spider man reaction is something to be proud of, because they couldn't hit you if they tried! More to the point, this intimidation technique is just a sign of weakness - a weakness that's begging to be taught a lesson.

Can CHUCK NORRIS get more fans than there are people on earth?!

If he can't do it, no one can! Legend has it that Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle. When he looks at himself in the mirror, there is no reflection, because there can only be one Chuck Norris. So who is this guy and where did he originate? America, March 10, 1940 - ex air force, martial artist, actor. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. But fear itself is afraid of Chuck Norris.

New Moon: The story of a girls choice between Beastiality and Necrophilia.

Hmmm which will it be - a blood sucking poser who always makes it seem like there's a cold draft in the room, or a guy with a crack that's hairier than his back? Either way, they're both dangerously selfish and seem to think that Bella's a lot safer in their company, thus proving their inferior brain capacities. Why can't they just all get along and show more of a proactive interest in the democratic workings of society.

I hate it when you're with MC Hammer and he doesn't let you touch anything.

MC Hammer's 'can't touch this' attitude has touched the lives of many. Selling over 50 million records worldwide, the man has been a great success and it's all thanks to his power yielding 'hammer pants'. This sell out rapper is also considered a forefather of pop rap, and went from rags to riches because of his energetic personality.

COD, Keeping teenage pregnancy down since 2003.

Today, many of us contribute to a nation of zombies who love nothing more than to veg' out in front of a games console. But with a closer look there is much more to it. While computer games help people to develope hand eye co-ordination, Call Of Duty goes the extra mile to deliver a more muscle toning brain workout, unlike sex which could be described as a mindless repetative task. The game tests the limits of our logic and strategy while making our hearts race just like during...

Liking your own status is like high-fiving yourself.

Who da man? You da man - high five! If there's nobody around to see how cool you are, you always have the option of high fiving yourself. To like your own Facebook status is to do just that. There are many reasons to do so, such as making yourself look popular, showing yourself someone cares or letting people know how confident you are by openly showing them how much you love yourself. How great am I?!

Errr Excuse me? I bought a packet of CRISPS, not half a bag of air.

A company like Walkers surely doesn't need to make funding cuts any time soon. So why do they insist on selling thin air to people?! Perhaps it's an initiative to combat obesity, for those who don't take the initiative to buy a second packet of air, I mean crisps. It's rather like the packaging you get for childrens toys, that makes the product look completely awesome on the shelf. However older people can see through this, just like air itself.

"Status was posted Today at 9:15pm"...ITS ONLY 11AM, How is that possible?

It seems that Facebook, the multi-billion dollar website, still hasn't fully came to terms with the importance of usability for it's users. I have often received messages from the future, while writing ones in the past. Perhaps the whole concept of time is being challenged by Facebook's stubborn ego and this futuristic website has opened a time vortex, displacing messages and making time travel a casually conversational subject in every household.

Hating the kids who circled wally in all the where's wally books

Wally always wins because as soon as we've found him he's hiding again. The challenge of chasing this goofy fella around is highly recommended. But prepare for disappointment as you pick that book up from the children's section in the library. When opening the front page to realize that someone much younger than you has ruined your entire day. You might experience negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, stress and hatred.

Seeing Japanese Tourists Taking Photos of the Most Pointless Things

This is a very familiar spectacle for many of us. Having such an enthusiastic interest being shown towards your local library or telephone box can surely be seen as a great sign of appreciation. Who else reminds us of how beautiful the place is other than the Japanese with their Fujifilm photography. Like anyone, they have the right to take pictures wherever they go, with their cameras that they probably designed and programmed themselves.

Get real. No one's going to form a single line if the building's on FIRE.

So the buildings on fire and we need to get out as quickly as possible. I know! Let's march out in a military formation so that we can look real smart in front of anyone watching, because that's what their main concern would surely be! When people's lives are at stake, what better priority to have than people walking in single file? Lets just hope the person at the front of the line can walk fast enough...

When I was your age I was catching Pokémon not STIs

Computer games are indeed a distraction from any other priorities we may have in life. When I was your age, I wasn't exactly a ladies man. But hey, at least I don't have anything to show for it, apart from a neat collection of my favorite Pokemon, all over level 75 I might add. You see, Pokemon are a lot easier to understand. If the opposite sex was just as easy however, then I guess we would all have caught more than just Pokemon by now.

It's always a great idea when you're pissed

You know the part of you that says "this isn't a good idea"? Well the answer to eradicating this voice can be found at the bottom of a glass. Need some Dutch courage? Down it! Want to do something regrettably drastic? Down it! Alcohol was discovered around 4000B.C. and to date we are still using it not only as a preservative for clean beverages, but for more recreational reasons also. Please drink responsibly and try not to precariously balance furniture in your home.

Laughing At Cats

Laughing at cats is a blessing that most of us enjoy whether we admit it or not. How could anyone not be moved by the site of a cat with its head stuck in a paper bag or a cat that's scared of its own reflection. Cats are such lovable creatures and what better way to appreciate them than to accept their gift of hilarity among us. Funny Cats + People = laughter all round.